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Starting-starting I better tell the readers that this won’t be their typical primary school karangan, isn’t it? I know one, just because they see the title, sure they thinking they so clever, already know the whole story from Paragraph 1 to Paragraph 5: I am born in a factory, I am taken to a shop, one little boy come in and buy me with his pocket money… 

Eh, siao ah! First of all, where got little boys come and buy joss stick? And I’m a dragon joss stick some more! Where they get that kind of money?

Second of all, there will be no “I live with my owner happily ever after” that kind of nonsense ending here. No such thing as happily ever after in real life also. I don’t know why they go and teach children that kind of thing. So if this is not a fairy tale, then what is it? 

Ah, here I better outline the whole story. Paragraph 1 to 5. Then you see if you agree or not, if got anything you want to change. After all, it’s your story too, isn’t it?

Paragraph 1

This part we should do proper introduction about you and me. Me they know I’m a dragon joss stick, the title itself already say. But I better mention some things about you also, since you’re my maker—

Now they will ask, What maker, god or something is it? I mean joss stick maker lah! 

Main thing they should know is you’re a traditional joss stick maker, ya? Meaning everything do by hand. That’s right, I’m one hundred percent handcrafted! Not like those mass-produced joss sticks that are actually imported from China because labour cost is cheaper there.

Even at your age! Eighty-three years old! Everything you still insist don’t use machine. Important to preserve this traditional craft, you say. Because of this, you can only make smaller pieces, like the normal joss sticks, chopstick-sized, very classic; or else you shape them different-differently, such as dollop-shaped like the sugar on iced gem biscuits, or tortoise-shaped with red or green shell. You never think you will make another gigantic dragon joss stick, right? 

Then one day this bunch of people come into your shop, all wearing smart-smart shirts tucked high-high into their black pants. One look can tell they’re important people. They say they come from some old association, very prestigious one. They doing a big Chinese New Year ceremony in three months. Ask you to make a twelve-foot dragon joss stick for them. They say they want to support the traditional craft! They want to use this ceremony to showcase your masterpiece! They know handmade confirm will be Superior Quality!

Wah, you should have seen yourself. Usually all hunched over like you carrying twenty invisible sacks of rice, but now you shoot straight up, chest puffed up like rooster, straightaway saying, Dragon joss stick? Can, can no problem! Some more you start showing them your old sketches, excited like little boy, asking if they prefer this dragon head or that dragon head? The scales shaped like this or like that? 

After they leave, you secretly take out one photo of you with the previous dragon joss stick you make, that one from don’t know twenty-thirty years ago. You look and look at that photo for almost one hour, whole time scribbling notes at the bottom. Hah, see at first so action want to take the order! Now you’re trying to remember all the steps!

That’s only when you realise you can’t do it all alone, isn’t it? Not just many steps, also a lot of heavy material need to carry here carry there! Some more with your bad back and bad eyes… twelve -footer like me is no joke you know—very tall, very heavy, better don’t play-play.

Ya, I know, last time at least you have a whole team of workers. Sometimes five sometimes ten. Wah those days you really like a headmaster, walking up and down the workshop, checking everyone’s work. If someone make mistake, for example their dragon whisker is not flowing nicely like river, is looking more zigzag like lightning bolt, you won’t scold them, oh no, without saying one word you just take a new piece of clay and shape it for them to see. 

Then? Then you squash it and throw it away so they have to start over themselves! To learn, you must do—that’s what you always say!

But over the years the business grow smaller. The workshop grow smaller. Because the role of traditional crafts in society also grow smaller. 

Here the readers will think, Wah this essay why suddenly make one Big Statement like that. But it’s true, how to sustain your kind of business in this economy? When everything need to be fast-fast cheap-cheap, who cares about quality, tomorrow there will be something faster and cheaper, isn’t it? 

You always say the biggest problem is finding manpower. Many reasons lah—the salary go up and down according to festive seasons, need to work long hours, always very tiring. Plus many of them migrant workers, isn’t it? So every two-three years their work permit end and you have to train new batch all over again. Unless they somehow renew their permit in time, but since when the gomen will do things in time unless you clever-clever give them duit kopi? And nowadays they don’t just drink kopi-o, no no no, now they want Starbucks!

At that point you also getting fed up, I know, you feel like Wu Gang on the moon always chopping-chopping at the tree only for it to grow back even faster. So over time you also let yourself become smaller and smaller. 

After all the workers gone, used to be your wife and son will help you…. But you yourself don’t want your son to take over. That’s what you tell your wife, you say you always pity him when you see him work here, all sweaty and tired. Don’t know if this traditional craft too traditional until it got no future, you say. So you both agree, send him off to study accounting—always got money somewhere that need someone to count, isn’t it?

For many years just your wife helping you. Then she passed away. Five years already now. 

Ya, it’s true, you were very sad. 

So just left you alone in your dusty workshop. Every day you wake up early-early to pray to Thni Kong and Buddha; you climb up and down the same stairs you been climbing for seventy years; you complain here pain there pain; you eat wantan mee and drink herbal tea; you hope for good weather, so you can continue do your work.

Every day the same day. Until you got the order to make the dragon joss stick. Until I come into your life. 

I not yet die yet, you tell yourself. Still can do, then do.

Paragraph 2

After our introduction we better introduce Suraj. Can also talk about the process of making me, hah, that way we’re also giving readers some knowledge of the traditional craft.

Suraj is the Nepali guy you found to help you. Supposed to be your worker for the next three months. At first so serious so quiet but by the third week, if he’s alone in the workshop, he will be singing don’t know what song to himself, isn’t it?

First step of joss-making is to make the clay—ya, just like when you humans created by god, starting-starting I’m also just one lump of clay. Main ingredient is sandalwood powder. Teja wood tree gum to bind it, agarwood for aroma. Sometimes can add special ingredients, for example ai cao, or artemisia argyi—this one can expel negativity, can also expel the mosquito. All this mix with water in a tub and knead into dough like you’re making roti. The whole time you keep teaching Suraj how to balance the powder and water so the roti dough won’t be too sticky or too hard. Suraj also quick learner. By end of second day he got the formula right. 

You ask Suraj to help you take one big ball of clay, climb up the stepladder, and poke it onto the wooden pillar like fishball onto satay stick. You stretch me up and down, press in tight-tight like making spring roll. This is just layer  one—after that, wait a few days for the water to escape my body, then apply next layer…. Like this my pillar slowly grow nice and fat. 

Ya, ya, need a lot of patience! Ya, ya, that’s the problem with youngsters these days, they just want results straightaway…. But Suraj not like that, right? He also very patient. Good student. That’s why you like him, I can tell. Always listen carefully and never rush. People like you and him somehow just more suited for this kind of work. That’s why you also start teaching him to make the small joss sticks, ya? 

After I dry outside, seeing don’t know how many suns and moons, finally come the day you dress me in a shiny red paste. Suraj make everything smooth, then he let you inspect. 

You walk one round around me, glaring at every inch like you finding ant like that. Don’t need to look already! My pillar is perfect! Suraj did a good job. Steady hands, like yours last time. But now yours will tremble a lot, like leaf shaking in the wind, when you’re eating or reading newspaper. Only when you’re working, wah, your hands once more so focused so quick like sparrow, all that experience must be in your bones or something. 

Pillar done, next is my dragon body. Wrap it around the pillar, pin it with bamboo sticks, press in my scales, fix on my mane and four claws—meanwhile you explaining to Suraj, supposedly the Dragon should have body of the Snake, belly of the Rabbit, claws of the Tiger…. It’s true, that’s why I more power than all the other zodiac animals, I’m a combo of everyone!

Most readers should already know Dragon symbolise luck and blessing—that’s why before our year can always see many couples very naughty very busy, aiming for Dragon baby. Suraj also happy to find out that Dragon baby is lucky. Turns out his wife now pregnant with their second kid, so will be born in Dragon year!

Ya, that fellow also a family man. Every night at 8:15 will video-call his wife and daughter. One time you ask about them, so he show you some photos—see this is his wedding, see now his kid is starting school. You only nod, didn’t say anything, but afterwards you drag out this big old photo album. Sure you thinking, finally got chance to show off your wife also! Poor Suraj have to sit there half an hour listening to you talk and talk: See how pretty she was, this one when we first move in, see the old kitchen before the shop got renovated, yes sixty years we were married…. Suddenly, so much memory about your dating-dating days, some big feeling must be boiling up inside, you burst out singing that Tian Mi Mi song, the one about a lover whose smile is sweet as honey… 

You know that song? you ask Suraj. He just look at you and nod like he not sure what to do. Then he quickly ask, Er, what about your son? 

Oh, you say, No photos in this album, nowadays all in the phone camera, just like your wife and kid.

After that you never talk about family again. But I notice whenever Suraj do his video call, you will quietly leave the room, humming-humming to yourself.

Paragraph 3

Since this paragraph is halfway through the essay, we can talk about what happen halfway to the ceremony deadline. What happen is, now you all only starting on my head! Okay fine still on schedule but I also getting nervous—hello, I want to look my best! And the head lah is the most troublesome part. 

My head is not copy-paste from some template, after all. Is one-of-a-kind, not like those commercial dragons. The readers should see how I’m so 3D so alive! Every part you make from scratch and carefully put together, like this only you can properly control how I look—slowly-slowly adjust the angle of my teeth, the size of my nostrils, the shape of my eyes, making sure they’re symmetrical. I know, this another thing youngsters lack: attention to detail. Good work needs attention to detail!

Took you all five days just to sculpt finish my head. Then aiyo that Suraj always so careful don’t know why suddenly make mistake. Maybe he feel so happy so proud how handsome my head look, too busy celebrating in his own head…. He’s the one who put my head on the rack to dry, right? But somehow never place properly.

Next morning you come in, my head already on the floor, left side flat like pancake. Suraj looking like he want to cry.

But before he can say sorry or what, you already pick my head up, my beautiful one-sided head. Didn’t hesitate one second before you squash the whole thing. Just start again. Anyway, sure this kind of mistake also happen to you many times, right? You know there’s no point making one big fuss. 

So the whole time you say nothing. Suraj also just quietly help you. 

Good, faster! It’s not too late, still got time!

This next head you all take shorter time. The design still fresh in your brains, is it? Three days you all work until midnight, sleep six hours, wake up and straightaway start again. Feeling the panic, I suppose. 

Some days Suraj also sleep over in the workshop. Maybe he feel bad so he try to work extra hard. But anyway I don’t think so you’re angry with him or anything. Actually you see him kind of like an apprentice, isn’t it? So what he’s not family? Got potential means got potential. Maybe you thinking he can carry on this tradition also.

When my second head is dry, it’s time to paint. Again need many layers. Some more you all paint by hand, not using sprays—this one we should also emphasise: See, how much patience, nowadays youngsters—

But we covered that already. Okay we just remind the readers that the paint must be bright and colourful ya. More bright means more luck.

Between painting, you all keep making the smaller joss pieces. By now Suraj also very clever can make the small tortoise. That one his favourite to make. After he make he will take photo and send his daughter. She want a pet but the mom won’t let, he explain and laugh. So this can be her pet. By now she must have thirty-forty pet tortoise in her phone.

Around one week before deadline, you tell Suraj you will take him to get haircut together. Look good for the ceremony. Otherwise once Chinese New Year comes cannot cut for one whole month. And me? My mane all trimmed nicely already. Just left my hair tips need to touch up.

But next morning Suraj never show up. Didn’t pick up phone also. Aiyo where is he? All this time he never overslept and now so soon to the ceremony he disappear? You also getting angry. After waiting one hour you go out to look for him. 

Now my turn to become impatient! So many questions bursting in my almost finished head. Like, why you go and disappear also? Eighty-three years old and you still want to run all over town looking for him? Just finish the last few steps yourself lah! Nevermind Suraj not here, all the heavy lifting is done, paintbrush you still can lift right? 

But one whole day you stay gone.

Only by night time you come back. Finally! 

But still no Suraj. You come to me but not holding any brush. Just your two hands empty, shaking like leaf again.

Suddenly you stroke my head. Like I’m small baby like that. I want to say, Be careful please, but you know how much you need to be gentle, ya? After all you made me. You and Suraj. 

You tell me, They took him away. They raided the flat he stayed in… 

Raided means gone forever? What, he never have work permit, is it? I still don’t understand. What are you saying?

But you have no answer. Just like that Suraj is gone. Here the readers also should know, he won’t come back in this story anymore. 

I also don’t know where is he now. 

Next morning you finish painting me yourself. 

Last step is usually to dot the dragon’s eyes. Painting small things like this usually Suraj do, since your eyes going bad. But no choice now. You put your eye next to mine, then die-die stab with the brush. End up my eyes the only thing not perfect, not symmetrical—one pupil looking left, the other looking right. 

But after the eyes, you add one more thing, only you will do. You write a Chinese pantun behind my right ear—something you always do last time, ya, for your wife?

Before the ceremony you go and get your haircut, that typical buzzcut all Indian barbers know how to do. You go shopping for new clothes and snacks also. 

When you are out, I’m realising I can fly. Since you already give me eyes, even if they’re crooked. Just like in that Chinese idiom, the eyes are the thing that make me come alive.

But I don’t fly away. Something make me stay, and not just the bamboo sticks. Maybe I’m thinking, they already took Suraj away. If I disappear too, what will you do? 

So on the day of the ceremony, when the truck come, I’m still here. You and the driver carry me up. You wrap me in old newspaper, but you also bring some paint and brush in case I get smudged or chipped later, since the truck sure have to drive over fifty potholes on the way to the temple. 

During the drive, all I can see is the sky on top. Blue like…like I don’t know. Like the sky lah. Sometimes got pigeon fly across. Wah…very nice to see them fly, so free. But better hope they don’t drop a bomb on you. If they drop, hah, consider you lucky, isn’t it?

Something I never tell you: At first I was scared when you send me off, I will feel lonely without you. But now I realise this is the last day of my life, no time to get lonely. 

See, we already warn the readers, no happily ever after. Joss stick is made for what? To burn lah. Maybe they will feel very pity, so sayang, beautiful creation like me have to burn. 

But I feel proud. After this you won’t make any more dragon joss stick, meaning I’m the last of my kind. Same like how you are the last of your kind. 

Paragraph 4

Now we near to the end of my story. When we reach the temple, you all put me on this metal thing so I can stand up tall-tall. Tall like I’m holding up the sky itself. Tall until the cloud is like kuci-kuci tickling my feet.

At night, a lot of people come lo. Wah this really some big celebration. Everywhere also dragon dragon dragon. Did you notice? Neh, got two there on the temple rooftop. One dragon on that lady’s cheongsam. One more dragon fly all over the place, like the noodle they pull here pull there in front of your face at the fancy hotpot restaurant. Dragon dance they call it. 

I want to shout hello to all these dragons—we family mah—but my mouth got this big shiny ball, blocking only. You say it’s called the pearl of wisdom—but how come this wisdom make it so hard to talk?

Then, as usual lah, at the start of every event must have some VIP giving long speech. Maybe this one got no wisdom in his mouth so he can talk all he wants, haha… 

Eh, stand up, he’s calling your name now! He’s asking you to go onstage, asking everyone to give a big round of applause! Hah, you also feeling like some kind of VIP tonight. Everyone clapping because you create such a beautiful dragon joss stick like me.

I can see now you’re thinking is your turn to give speech, isn’t it? Make sense what, since they invited a master like you, they want to highlight the importance of this cultural heritage, now your chance to say a few words…. Confirm you will mention, have to have patience lah, perseverance lah, see how you eighty-three years old still never give up on your traditional craft, then after that you will thank your wife, maybe thank Suraj also. Even though they both not here. 

But the VIP just keep talking. He never pass you the mic even when you step forward, your two hands raised up and not shaking at all. Whole time you stand there, he just talk and people just clap and then suddenly it’s time for the main event. 

Time to light me on fire. 

Now someone bringing the ladder. Someone climbing up, holding the fire. The fire licking the wind, so fierce so hungry, saying to me: Ready or not, here I come.

But I’m not scared. Like I said, I’m made to burn, won’t be painful for me. For you humans, fire is home—make you warm, cook your food, give you energy. For me, fire just means the end. Habis. That’s it. 

I burn loh. 

Suddenly I can see everything and everyone, my two crooked eyes staring into east and west, past and future. I can see how everyone is watching my beautiful colours kena burn black—all the people, the other dragons, the sky and the earth, hah even the pigeons are watching. 

And you also, you still standing there on stage. 

I don’t know what you feel, watching me burn. But anyway dying is just part of life, isn’t it? I come into this world from earth and water, I go out by fire and air. Balance mah. Life and death, yin and yang, light and dark, good and bad. All must balance in the end. 

But this one we don’t need tell the readers, right? They also know. 

The fire become a small circle of light that will slowly eat me from top to bottom. I become smoke, fly away from my old body. Ya, my smoke also Superior Quality. Won’t make people eye-itchy nose-itchy, in fact it can calm minds, scare away sickness, even iron out fate until it’s nice and tidy like lines in a school exercise book. 

One whole week I burn. But whole time I sibek busy you know! Your work is done but my work just beginning. I have to start delivering all the people’s prayers with my smoke, one by one like letters sent through Pos Laju like that. Some more have to be faster than other joss sticks, want to be the first to reach the gods mah…. Always the same ones lah people pray to. Guan Yin lo—everyone wants mercy. Tua Pek Kong lo—everyone wants to huat and strike jackpot. Buddha also got—sometimes their request make him headache only…

And if I reach late? Need to take number and wait behind the other prayers, ya, like when people go and renew driving license or collect passport! Aiyo…

Paragraph 5

Okay, concluding paragraph. Should be simple enough, don’t need add new points, just summarise isn’t it?

But I think we left something out lah. If you won’t tell the readers, I will… 

What happen is, when everyone at the celebration happily eating at the buffet, you quietly come to me. The circle of fire not yet reach my head. You bring a brush still dripping black paint, and faster write something else behind my left ear. 

A couplet of well wishes for Suraj. 

But the brush too wet and you press too hard. So the words melt a bit and the extra paint flow into a black drop that roll down my cheek. 

Why you always like to write behind my ear, I don’t know. Maybe you think it’s like whispering to me. So that I will hear it properly, carry your words upstairs without any mistake. Isn’t it funny, you people so clever so power can create a creature like me, but you still need my help to bring your prayers to this god and that god…

But it’s always the same thing isn’t it, what you humans pray for? You want your grandpa-grandma to live long-long lah. You want the baby to be born healthy, two eyes, four limbs, one strong heart. You want promotion next year, or even better, tomorrow itself. You want fortune to knock on your door, you want bad luck to lose your address. Some people more ambitious one can even pray for “World Peace”…. Err, anyway I deliver message only ya. Can come true or not, up to those upstairs. Sometimes I will ask them, eh, how you think, this prayer got chance or not? But they never answer me.

No matter what, you still pray. You still live your life, right? You build homes, make babies, try to be good to the people around you. You learn from the past, plan for the future. When there are happy times, you enjoy it lah, right? What else you can do?

And if there’s one lesson readers should learn from this—

Huh, you want to tell them that they don’t need to always make joss stick so big-big? But bigger size means bigger price tag, more business for you… 

But never mind, since not many people can afford me anyway—ya, it’s true, the gods also don’t care the joss stick you people burn is big or small. You think what, size of prayer is calculated by size of joss stick, is it? Where got! In the end everything become smoke. Bigger joss stick just means bigger pile of ash to clean up. 

Just like me now. See, nothing left, just black ash all over the floor. 

But next morning got one sweeper come. He sweep-sweep-sweep, then stop. Wiping sweat from his eyes. Suddenly he also see—wah the sky today, so blue. Outside the temple he can see people walk here walk there, wearing bright-bright clothes, taking photographs, laughing and laughing. 

Eh, you can hear or not what they say to each other? 

They’re saying: Happy new year, happy new year.

 

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YEE HENG YEH is a Malaysian writer and translator. His poetry has been twice nominated for the Pushcart Prize, while his short fiction has appeared in Reader’s Digest Asia and Guernica. “I Am a Dragon Joss Stick: An Essay” won the Dream Foundry Contest for Emerging Writers in 2025. He was also a Writing Fellow at A Public Space in 2023. You can find him on Twitter and Bluesky @HengYeh42.

Featured image by You Le, courtesy of Unsplash.