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Tag: Motherhood

Author’s Note

Going for a walk, I’ve noticed, stimulates my thought processes. Perhaps it has something to do with getting my limbs into motion. I’ve also noticed that when I’m at a crossroads or when I’m confronting a decision or a problem, my thoughts tend to spin faster.

And so, I send my main character on a walk, where thought-paths spring forth in her brain, sometimes divergent, sometimes intersecting, sometimes knitting together. Through these spurts of brain activity, she attempts to unravel and understand a not-so-harmonious relationship with her daughter, a typical teenager. For this single mother with one child, the conflicts are both difficult to process and hard to accept.

Being a parent is not easy. Rules need to be enforced, boundaries must be drawn. It’s no surprise then, that children often wish they had different parents. Some, like my protagonist’s daughter, even form strong attachments with adults outside of their home.

What would it feel like to be a parent who observes this “outside” relationship? How must a parent deal with their child’s obvious preference? Should the parent swallow the painful knowledge and allow the child the freedom to bond with others?

Sorting through internal dialogue can be knotty. It gets more complicated when the child, annoyed or withdrawn at home, transforms into an affectionate, considerate person in someone else’s company.

The mother in my story struggles to find that fine balance between being a parent and indulging her child, between dealing with her own inner turmoil and wanting a relationship with her daughter, because at the heart of it all, she longs to keep her little family close, together and whole.

Her circumstances gave me the scenario, the walk allowed me to weave her jumbled thoughts and feelings into a story, and thus, “Flapping Wings and a Shoeless Walk” came into being.

 

SUDHA BALAGOPAL is honored to have her writing in many fine journals including CRAFT, Split Lip Magazine, and SmokeLong Quarterly. Her novella-in-flash, Things I Can’t Tell Amma, was published by Ad Hoc Fiction in 2021. She has work selected for Best Microfiction 2022 and The Best Small Fictions 2022. Find her on Twitter @authorsudha.